


All These Memories

by Siren_Of_Old



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, M/M, Memories, What the Hell, i haven't written in so long i forgot how to tag my own fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 09:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18937912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siren_Of_Old/pseuds/Siren_Of_Old
Summary: When Sirius fell into the veil, the last thing Harry expected was to find a trunk left in his possession. But this wasn't an ordinary trunk.This trunk holds Sirius' most precious memories.





	All These Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I finally finished another fic and I didn't feel like it was forced, heck yeah!!! I hope you enjoy, and I hope I did the emotions justice!

Not long after the war had ended, after months of sulking around the Burrow, Harry finally decided that he should probably move into Grimmauld Place.

Well, he didn’t decide for himself, to be honest. He’d dreaded stepping inside the house ever since Sirius’ death, and the discovery of his godfather’s will did nothing to quell the dread that stuck in the back of his throat.

He took a deep breath standing out on the sidewalk. It was night-time, the streetlights illuminating the street with an odd mix of white and yellow light. Grimmauld Place stood exactly as it had when Harry had first arrived to it, yet he knew that the one person who mattered would not be within its walls.

Alongside the ownership of Grimmauld Place, Sirius had left him all of its belongings and a chest that Remus had had in his ownership. He’d seen it before, in Remus’ office when he was his professor – seeing it again as he and Ron moved it from Remus and Tonks’ old bedroom to Grimmauld Place was jarring to say the least.

Taking another (shaky) breath to steady himself, he walked up to the front door, using the old key that had come with Sirius’ will to open the heavy front door.

The door creaked a bit when he opened it, and he could smell the dust that settled back onto the floor. No one had been here since Harry had received his will, and it showed in all of the dust and the cobwebs decorating the walls and ceiling corners. He shuffled inside and shut the door tight behind him.

He knew he should eat something before crashing for the night, but food was the furthest thought from his mind. Instead, he slowly trudged up the stairs to Sirius’ old room, where Ron had set the trunk when Harry couldn’t bear to climb the stairs. Just stepping over the threshold of the house that day had made his throat tighten and his eyes sting with hot tears.

He pushed the door to Sirius’ room open, his legs feeling like lead as he forced himself forward. The trunk was at the foot of the bed, Ron’s footsteps visible in the amount of dust that rested on the hardwood floor. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against the wood for a moment, just staring at the trunk.

It wasn’t anything special; just deep brown with tarnished golden clasps. Yet, something important rested inside – something special enough that Sirius had not only entrusted it to Remus but given it to Harry upon his death.

He let himself be led forward by curiosity, falling to his knees in front of the inanimate object that called his name. With shaky hands, he unclasped it and carefully lifted the lid to peer inside.

His own reflection stared back at him.

A pensieve.

Sirius had left him a damn pensieve, with what seemed like multitudes of memories from the look of the vials within, cradled in shelves that hooked around the pensieve. He cautiously lifted one out, finding that there were labels upon them with the date and the name of the memory.

The one he held dated to his birth, with his name beside it.

He poured it in.

Sucking in a breath, he dunked his head within the waters of the pensieve.

_“God dammit, James Potter, once this baby is out, I’m going to kill you!”_

_Harry stood to the side of the scene, watching his mother’s reddened face contort in pain. Her hair was wild about her shoulders, and she gripped her husband’s hand. By the look on James’ face, he too, was in pain – Lily may actually be crushing the bones in his hand._

_They were at St. Mungo’s it seemed, a woman in professional dress between his mother’s knees. She kept murmuring words of encouragement to Lily, but Harry could barely hear her, focused on how his father stared at Lily with such adoration, even as she screamed with rage and pain._

_“I love you, Lils, you can do it.” James muttered, pressing his nose into her messy red hair. “Bring our son into the world, love, you’re so strong, you can do it.”_

_Lily tilted her chin toward him, smiling at him until another contraction hit and then she jerked, head butting him right in the nose._

_“Jesus Lils!”_

_Harry’s gaze snapped from his parents to his godfather, younger and laughing. Remus stood beside him, his gaze bouncing from Lily to Sirius as well. Harry watched Sirius’ mouth quirk up into a half smile, prompting a small smile from Remus._

_Peter was against the wall, sitting in a chair. Harry noticed that he was a little green around the gills, and figured it was the birth itself as Lily let out a wail and Peter winced at the noise._

_“A beautiful boy!” The doctor crowed from her spot in front of Lily, jostling tiny baby Harry about as she helped to deliver him into the world. “Dad, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”_

_“Absolutely –”_

Harry gasped as he was thrown from the memory, his cheeks wet with tears he hadn’t known that he was shedding.  He dropped down from his kneeling position to bend at the waist, his hands coming up to his face.

His godfather had seen him come into the world, and Harry had been the last thing he saw before he left the world.

The irony was bitter on his tongue.

 

* * *

 

 

He stayed away from the trunk for two consecutive days, instead opting to distract himself with cleaning up the mess that Grimmauld Place had become. Thankfully, he didn’t have to deal with any doxies or boggarts lurking within the shadows.

It was the third day when he finally finished that he felt satisfied enough to go and watch another of Sirius’ memories.

He chose at random, kneeling in the dust of Sirius’ room. He knew he should clean this room as he had the others, but it was so hard to think about changing the state of what his godfather had left it in.

The bottle that he picked up had an unimportant date – at least to Harry – upon it, bearing the description ‘James’ flat’. Pouring it in, Harry leaned down to sink his face into the pensieve.

_“ - I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me,”_

_Harry blinked at the bright sunlight streaming in from the windows as loud singing filled his ears. He stood in the corner, in what was probably his father’s kitchen at the time. James was at the stove, spatula in hand as he cooked something that smelled of heavy spices. Remus sat at the kitchen table, ankles propped up on the edge._

_Peter was the one singing, holding a large knife as he chopped up an onion at the counter next to James. They all were so young and carefree, smiles large on their faces._  
  
_“He's just a poor boy from a poor family / Spare him his life from this monstrosity!” Remus exclaimed, pointing at Peter with a crooked, scarred finger. The blond whirled around, grin growing even larger._  
  
_“Easy come easy go will you let me go?”_  
  
_“Bismillah, no we will not let you go – ”_

_“Let him go!” James called out over his shoulder, hair shining in the sunlight. Harry found himself chuckling at their antics as they continued._

_A creaking floorboard near him startled him and he turned to see Sirius leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and dark hair spilling over his shoulder in a loose braid. His expression was fond as he watched the men in the kitchen._

_Harry looked back at the other three, noticing that Remus had fallen silent as his father and their wayward friend continued on._

_Remus’ eyes were on Sirius, affection practically dripping from gaze. Slowly, the werewolf stood, his knees cracking as he got up from his relaxed position. Harry jolted back as Remus crowded into Sirius’ space – and ultimately Harry’s as well, but he couldn’t see him – and dragged his arms up to rest over his godfather’s shoulders._

_Sirius’ hands came up around Remus’ waist and they pressed their foreheads together, then their noses before finally pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. Harry gasped in shock._

_He knew that Sirius and Remus had always seemed closer than normal, especially once Sirius settled back into Grimmauld Place with everyone. But he had no idea that this was the kind of relationship they’d had._

_His heart ached, knowing that something had most likely gone wrong for them along the way, if not because of the war then because of homophobia and anger._

_“Who said you could bring that sappy shit into my kitchen?” James hollered, breaking Harry out of his surprise. He glanced back over to his father, who pointed his spatula at the couple. Remus snickered, leaning back from Sirius to flip James off. “In my own **kitchen**!!!!”_

_“Suck my dick, James.” Sirius stuck his tongue out, pulled Remus closer. “You’re just jealous that Lily’s away with her birds instead of here so you can canoodle with her.”_

_“You’re not wrong,” James sighed wistfully, his face tender as the images swirled and –_

Harry was once again on the hard floor of his godfather’s floor, knees aching at their kneeled position.

He had so many questions.

 

* * *

 

 

He opted to wait until the next day to floo Molly, his head still a mess from the previous night’s memory. She answered almost immediately, joining him on her own floor.

“Hello, Harry dear!” She beamed, her crow’s feet crinkling with glee. “How nice of you to floo. How are you doing over there?”

He fidgeted uneasily, biting his lip. “I’m doing okay.” He paused for a second before continuing. “I opened the trunk that Sirius left me.”

“Oh?”

“It has a lot of his memories in it, along with a pensieve.”

Molly seemed a little shocked, but she smiled in spite of it. “I’m glad he left you with them, Harry dear. What have you seen of them?”

“Just two,” Harry muttered, messing with his hair anxiously. “I saw my birth, and – Molly, were Sirius and Remus in a relationship when they were younger?”

Her eyes widened, and he could almost hear the alarm that went through her head. He threw his arms up. “I didn’t see anything intimate! I just saw them kiss in my dad’s kitchen!”

She pressed a hand to her chest, taking a deep breath. “You about gave me a heart attack, Harry.”

“I’m sorry, Molly.”

She shook her head, patting her hand on her sternum. “No issues, dear. I was just a bit startled for a moment.” She took a moment, her hand falling back to her lap to fix her dress and apron. “Sirius and Remus were in a relationship from what I believe was their sixth year until near the end, when your parents died.

“Sirius… if I’m correct in what Remus told me once, he’d believed that Remus was the traitor of their group and eventually their relationship grew too… well, it grew very strained and they eventually had a large argument that led to their breakup.

“That was about three days before your parents died.” Molly said in a soft, sad voice. “Dumbledore had Remus on an undercover mission when the whole thing blew up in their faces, and he came back to find out that James and Lily were gone, as well as Sirius and Peter.”

Harry stared down at his hands, trying to process his thoughts. “I – I had no idea.”

“They wanted it kept that way,” Molly explained, bringing Harry’s attention to her soft gaze. “It’s hard to be accepted when you love the same sex, and they knew it. I basically had to pry that story out of Remus one month when his transformations got too bad. Even then, he only gave me a basic synopsis.”

“Did – did everyone who knew accept them?”

She shook her head, her curls bouncing around her cheeks. “Sirius’ family was rather… well, you know. But we knew and we loved them.”

They sat there in silence for a while, just sharing each other’s company. Harry reflected on his emotions, trying to make sense of his godfather’s relationship with the man that had become another father figure within Harry’s life. He wasn’t disgusted by the notion of them being together, and he made sure to tell Molly that exact thought – if anything, he found it so bittersweet that they could have such a love only to have it lost to them because of the war. Molly nodded in sympathy, her smile caring as she watched the boy she’d helped raise.

“They loved each other though, up until the very end. You could see it in their faces.”

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, he decided to sift through a another memory. He didn’t hesitate to sit in front of the trunk and open it wide, fingers dancing over the bottles with their white strands within.

The one he picked out was labeled to be his parent’s wedding, and he already knew that he was going to come out of it emotional. Regardless, he dunked his head into cold liquid.

_“A toast!” Sirius cried, standing next to James at a long table. His mother wore a lovely, large muggle gown on his other side, her red hair pinned up prettily underneath her veil. “Who would’ve thought we’d be here at **this** wedding!”_

_James jabbed him in the side with his fingers, making him wince visibly. Harry was right in front of his parents, watching them beam with happiness, their smiles still so young. Sirius cleared his throat, tossing his long hair back to grin out at his audience._

_“In all seriousness – ” a short, loud laugh sounded out, and Sirius cackled – “Thanks, Frank! As I was saying, James and Lily! What a set, just look at them, mates! Finally, I don’t have to listen to James’ moaning about how pretty Lily is. Now she can listen to it herself!”_

_The crowd of friends behind Harry laughed, but his eyes were still glued to the wedding party in front of him. Remus sat beside Sirius, his scarred face looking somewhat less scarred, eyes fond as he gazed up at the man. Peter sat beside Remus, his smile wide on his chubby face._

_“May they live a long life together, and bring multiple redheaded idiots into the world!” James jabbed him again, making him laugh loudly. “To James and Lily!”_

_“To James and Lily!!” A chorus rang out, glasses clinking against one another as Sirius took his seat once more. Harry edged forward, resting his arms and head against the table across from his parents._

_“That has got to be the shittiest best man speech I’ve ever heard,” James whined as Sirius took a sip of his champagne. Harry noticed Remus reaching under the table to rest his hand over-top of Sirius’ thigh. He was still so shocked that his godfather had managed to keep his relationship so secret, especially with the way that he loved to be dramatic and open. “But, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you Padfoot. You’re the best brother I could ever ask for.”_

_Sirius choked, setting his glass down to cover his mouth. Lily glanced over in worry before the men waved her off and she turned back to the woman beside her. Remus’ hand came up to gently pat at Sirius’ back, a smirk on his face._

_“Oh, fuck off, James, you emotional sap.” Sirius forced out, his expression stuck between a grin and a grimace._

_Harry could only smile as well as he watched them all – happy, young and without a care in the world. It made his heart warm but also made his chest clench, knowing that they would not be there once he left this memory. He closed his eyes as the world around him began to swirl –_

He wished that he could’ve seen his parents that happy in real life.

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually, he made it through almost all of the memories – it took him quite some time, considering most of them left him emotionally drained – and he was down to one last one bottle.

He’d decided to watch it after he got home from visiting his parents’ graves, seating himself down on the floor of Sirius’ bedroom. He’d finally cleaned it about a month ago, sick of sneezing and having to brush dust off of his clothes every time he came to see a new memory.

The last memory was just labeled ‘Remus, rainy day’, and he picked it up with a fondness in his chest. Sirius had only left behind the good points of his and Remus’ relationship, as if to make sure that he never forgot what they’d built their love on. It was admirable and keeping that idea in his head had helped Harry express himself to Ginny multiple times.

Pouring the memory into the pensieve, he set the bottle down on the floor next to his knee and leaned forward at the waist.

_The first thing he registered was the loud rumble of thunder in his ears. He came to realize that he was seated on a couch across from the couch that Sirius and Remus were curled up on, hands entwined on top of the throw draped over their legs. Harry smiled softly as he watched them._

_“I love you,” Sirius whispered, dropping his head atop Remus’. The sandy blond grinned, leaning his head up for a kiss._

_“I love you, too.” He murmured over the thunder and pounding of rain outside their window._

_“Forever.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and Kudos as you please! ^0^


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